the piscatawny chainsaw massacre

ahhhh yes... i can see it now... hundreds of people standing around... "folks, it looks like he sees his shadow"... a chorus of boos rise up from the crowd, steadily growing louder... half-empty styrofoam coffee cups flung through the air, accompanied by woolen hats and parts of gnawed donuts... the boos are replaced by menacing comments and thinly veiled threats... "it'll be a trick for that fucking mole to see his shadow after i rip his goddamned eyes out"... signs are quickly scribbled with worn-down sharpie nubs - "Piss on Phil" and "Gut the Gopher" - and thrust into the air angrily... the scene is turning bad, like SA bullies attacking a communist march in the early '30s... suddenly, bill murray appears outta empty fucking air, simultaneously reprising his roles in "Caddyshack" and "Groundhog Day", reliving the same boring golf match over and over...